Engagement Rings – Should You Take Her Or Surprise Her?

You have finally swallowed that lump in your throat and decided to ask her to marry you. Now comes the real dilemma, do I ask her by giving her a ring, or should I ask her and then take her looking for engagement rings? And you thought the tough question was already behind you!

To Surprise Or Not Surprise, May Not Be The Question

First off, hopefully you have both broached the subject before and have some idea what she thinks about the whole thing. Surprise is one thing, but blind ambition that may not be supported by an equal feeling can not only be embarrassing, but can hurt a relationship.

Most couples have discussed it and given it some consideration before they start thinking about making the commitment or shopping for engagement rings. No matter what you see in the movies.

 Just My Style?

The question of giving her a ring or asking her to go looking for engagement rings can depend on just how much importance she places on picking the style of jewelry she wears.

If she is very particular about what she wants to wear, you better take her with you to look. On the other hand, if spontaneity in what she wears and does is more her style, then presenting her with a ring might just be the ticket.

And On The Other Hand…

Whether or not you buy the ring or take her shopping for it, the asking needs to be special.

There’s usually a lot written about how to present her with a ring, but if you are going to ask her to marry you and then shop for rings, that moment needs to be just as exceptional. It also needs to be attached to a date for shopping for engagement rings.

One advantage of giving a ring is that you are showing her a form of a commitment. When you ask her to marry you without a ring, then you need to follow that up with an action to show your commitment.

A Family Tradition?

Giving her a ring at the time you asked is the time honored tradition, where shopping for rings is more of a modern tradition.

If you fiancé-to-be is a very traditional girl and likes traditional pomp and circumstance, then you probably will want to buy the ring ahead of time. If not, and she has hinted she would like to be part of the selection, then that would be the direction to go.

One thing to do is pay close attention to what she says when you are having discussions about marriage. Women are great at giving hints to what they want, and men are awful at getting those hints.

Whichever way you decide is right for you, selecting engagement rings should be something you do with great consideration for her, her taste and the memories you plan to have together. Make it special and make it last, after all isn’t that the secret to a successful marriage?

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